End of the line?

I know - I haven't blogged in an age. I barely have the time or inclination any more. Shall I let this blog peter out or shall I end it conclusively?

Samuel is doing well - 8 months and he is already crawling, clapping, clicking his tongue, swimming (well, sort of) and has 4 teeth - he seems to be on fast forward. Weening is a mixed blessing - less work for GLW, but a load of headache trying to persuade him to actually eat - he only want to eat finger food (stuff he can pick up and eat), rather than being fed with a spoon, which means he isn't really eating enough - but hey - you can't force them to eat! I have no idea where he gets that fierce independent streak from - oh hang on - that would be er, both of us!

Anyway - a few benchmarks have been and gone, his first taste of icecream was memorable, his face whilst watching a video of himself was a picture, going to the Glastonbury Festival (not really recommended), and our tenth wedding anniversary (a spa break with Samuel in a creche - yay!)

GLW is coming towards the end of her maternity leave - only 4 months left - and she is making the most of it. She goes to plenty of mums groups, which Samuel is loving as much as her (he starts going bananas if he is at home too long).

Anyway - maybe I could get back into this blogging lark

J

His first trip to A&E

Still rubbish at blogging, and now a rubbish Dad as well...

So there we were, bathtime, Samuel happy and kicking away, then he gets that look on his face, takes a deep breath and fills the bath with poo. Nice. Not something I haven't encountered before, but this one is special. He really has filled up the bath. There is poo everywhere.

Now I can't see the point of letting him have a bath with that much faeces floating around, it is way too much to catch in a bowl (a neat trick if you can catch it early enough), so I drain the bath and start to refill it (with baby still in situ).

I have a little bath thermometer thing that I always use when running the bath. I run the tap over it, and balance the taps to make sure it isn't too hot. All is going well, when that slightly quizzical expression returns to his face, another deep breath a rumble from below, and the second bath is filled with poo.

This time there isn't enough water in the bath to wash it off him, so I drain the bath again, and get out the shower to rinse him down.

Rinse, rinse, rinse, clean baby, turn off the taps - SCREAM!

For some unknown reason I kept him under the stream of the shower head and had turned off the cold tap, leaving plain hot water coming out of the shower.

He only screamed once, then seemed completely happy again. Really not sure what to do. Is he OK or not? The bit of him that was under the shower is slightly pinker than the rest of him. Certainly not red. He's not concerned in the slightest.

Hmmm.

I call for backup. We have a code. There is a difference between just calling for a hand, and a 'drop everything and get here immediately". GLW arrives, phone dangling off the hook.

"I think I might have scalded him"

The expected hysteria starts

(and a small amount of praying).

Samuel, still perfectly happy, is now lying on the bath mat, with cold flannels over him. I am switching the flannels every 10 seconds on rotation, wringing them out and rinsing them in really cold water, and again, and again, and again. His skin is cold to the touch. GLW is on the phone to NHS direct, who are asking her all sorts of questions.

Are his lips grey? No
Is he shaking? No
Is he crying? No
Is it puffy and red? No

The only yes was: Is the area bigger than his hand? Huh? He's a baby! Of course it's bigger than his hand.

They also suggest that I put him in a bath or sink of cold water. So I give that a try. Then he really screams. Far more than when he was under the shower. I'll give that one up and go back to the flannels thanks.

On the basis that the area that is affected is bigger than his hand (!) we are advised to take him to A&E. I'm fine with that. Better safe than sorry. I'd prefer to get there and look like an over cautious parent than to not get the treatment that he might need.

So off we pop to A&E (same hospital as he was born in), which is, oooh, a whole 5 minutes away.

We are seen immediately. The Doctor takes off his clothes and nappy. Nothing. Not a mark on him. Admittedly he is a bit confused. He was expecting a nice bath, a snoozy feed, and then off to bed. Instead he got a jet of hot water, hoiked out of the bath, covered in cold flannels and prodded by a doctor. Not how he would have liked his evening to go.

The Doctor also reminds me that as he is a child and the non-existent harm was my fault, his health visitor would be notified. Fine. The system is there to catch child abusers, and if I fall anywhere near that system, then fine. I'll take whatever comes my way.

So we go home, give him his last feed, and everything goes back to normal, other than my overwhelming guilt.

Well, you live and learn

J

New sermon

New sermon is up! (although something is going very strange with the Blogger Gadgets - I can never seem to find the same one twice, so I guess I am limited to only showing 3 sermons at the moment, which I guess is fine).

Samuel is still doing well, struggling through a cold (bubbly baby snot - hmmm. nice). Looking to be weaned (he is totally obsessed with watching us eat, which is kind of cute, but we don't want to rush in), putting on weight and generally being a Good Boy - although he has his 'moments'.

All in all - going well.

J

It was 365 days ago today....

.....that we found out that +1 had come into the world. It seems unbelievable in a way. Unfortunately, the anniversary wasn't a great day - we were all a bit fraught, but we got through it all in the end.

What we did manage to achieve was in that I managed to give Samuel his first bottle of formula! Result! We (by which I really mean GLW) is still going to breastfeed, but we want to be able to have a bit more freedom. So GLW has booked a massage and will be off for a haircut, and can leave the little man with me.

It seems hard to do more than just tread water at the mo. Work is hard, and home can be just as hard (if Samuel so desires!). We had a real doozer today. He missed a feed (possibly due to the formula he had yesterday still rumbling around inside him) and so GLW was, er, 'full', and Samuel was upset and couldn't feed or sleep.

In the end I gave him a bath to calm him down. He then manged a feed and we seemed to get back to normal. It really threw a whole 3 hours of our life out though.

It wasn't helped my me being completely cream crackered (knackered) from preaching again this morning. It was a real emotional one about Freedom, which really drained everything out of me. Part of it was about slavery to lust, and boy did I open up a can of worms. I now have near half a dozen blokes in the church wanting to spend some time with me in prayer. Great! But I'm kind of busy! Not only that, but my discipleship programme has finally got off the ground, and I am meeting the first 2 guys tomorrow! When it rains it pours.

Don't get me wrong. I love seeing people grow in God. I just know that I am pushing my limit here big time. At least the sermon is out the way (I will post it when it is online), which I must say, was one of my best yet. The start was a bit heavy, but it ends great. I tried it the other way round, but it had to be that way to lay the foundations of the issue to be able to understand the answer (hmm, weird way of describing it, I guess you'll just have to listen to it).

Anyway, it is all of 21:30, and it is time for bed and a stressy week at work.

#I've got that joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart#

J

Sleeeep

Well Samuel's fantastic run of 12 hour sleeping is becoming a thing of the past. We used to be able to put him down at 8pm and he wouldn't stir until 8am the next morning. Whatever we were doing, we didn't want to change it.

When GLW went to Mums & Babies the other mothers were awed at his sleeping prowess. I guess we have a huge baby who has enough sheer mass to make it through the night.

Then the blip. First he wakes up at 04:30. Ok, only a blip. Next night - 01:30. Oh dear - he must be a bit under the weather. Next night 02:30 and 06:00. Hmm. Not looking good. Last night he was awake from 02:30 till 05:00. Now that's not funny. I was really looking forward to a good night's sleep. So today was a grumpy day.

Is it the four month blip come early? Is he teathing? Possible. We console ourselves with the fact that whatever the problem is, we can't change it. There is nothing we have done differently, we have a rigid bedtime routine which we've stuck to rigorously until last night Samuel decided to feed for an hour and a half, miss his bath and just fall asleep. Hmm. I would prefer him to sleep later and wake up later, but maybe those days have gone.

In addition, I seem to have started a bit of a wine habit. Just a nice half glass in the evening - nothing much, but I think it is edging into a habit, which I don't want (before I was a Christian I was a drug abuser, and I know that I have a personality that can end up in addiction very easily).

But on the flip side, my prayer life is going well. Praying daily (proper head down praying), and I have also been praying at night when I wake up (instead of just letting my head run with thoughts - I pray about them instead!). So it isn't all bad news (even though I am still a rubbish blogger).

All the best

J

Sermons

I've put up some new and old sermons. I don't know if that is a bit narcissistic, but hey, this is a blog, and if you want to understand me or know what I am going through, then a sermon is probably better than a blog post anyway. So whatever, listen if you want, don't listen if you don't.

I have even put up my last sermon, which I thought was a bit ropey, but I still got some good feedback. I guess you can't always be on top form, otherwise it would be your average rather than your best! That's stats for you.

J

Giant baby

We had Samuel weighed today - a whopping 15lbs 11oz at a mere 10 weeks. That puts him in the 98%ile. I have fathered a giant!

He also had his jabs today, which weren't quite so jolly, but hey, better that than the diseases they prevent.

I still catch myself staring at him in wonder. I can't quite believe I have a son. The way he looks at me is so open and loving, I can't get my head round what he must think of me. Even when he is screaming the place down I count myself blessed.

My parents (the obsessive ones) ask me if I am proud of him. Intially I thought 'no'. What has he achieved? Putting on weight and a few gibberings? Not really worthy of being proud. But then, thinking about it. I am proud of him. I enjoy people enjoying him, I want to show him off. He hasn't achieved, but his existence brings me pride. I have never really thought of pride in this way. I guess it is part of being a parent.

Baby aside. I am really excited as I am starting up a discipleship programme for the young men in our church. I have always had a heart for those guys. They seem to slip through the net, and always seem so uncomfortable in normal church settings. They need to be looked after, but Sunday mornings and home groups don't scratch where they are itching.

The plan I have come up with was inspired by one of my training courses. The actual material is completely irrelavent, but the style is called 'evidence based learning'. Basically, rather than just talking about a subject and then 'see you next week'. You do a self assessment before you meet, chat it through, do a short Bible study, and then set objectives for the week ahead. What they did is then reviewed the next week, and so on.

Anyway - I am excited about it. I have only written the first of 14 weeks, but hey, it is a start

J

Still rubbish at blogging

This whole baby thing really is getting in the way of the blog. I am beginning to wonder about wrapping it up (again!).

Hmm

Anyway, I promised to tell you about what happened to GLW once Samuel arrived. Well....GLW had been given so much epidural that she couldn't pee for 2 weeks and had to be fitted with a semi permanent catheter, which could have been worse, but could have been a whole load better. So we had loads of trips to the hospital for various depressing bladder scans, but eventually everything got back to normal (well, the bladder did, everything else had changed).

Samuel was feeding every 3 hours, day and night, and we were both shattered. In the middle of all this, various friends came and went, more hospital visits, life was just a dark grey blur of nappies, feeds, hospital, visitors and snatched sleep. I think our record was going to bed at 19:30, and by 10:00 the next day only having 6 or 7 hours sleep. But eventually we got through it, and now, things are so much better.

Samuel is sleeping, get this, at least 7 hours at a stretch at night! We put him down at about 22:30, having fed him most of the evening, and he won't wake up again until 06:30 the next morning. Wizzo.

The other good news is that he is already 14lbs. That puts him in the 91st %le for weight, which means I don't have to worry about him sleeping for so long at night.

More good news is that I got my first smile a couple of days ago. I was really looking forward to that moment, as the birth itself was a complete trauma, and so I felt a bit 'robbed' of an amazing moment. So I decided the moment would be at his smile rather than the traumatic birth.

Anyway, he is crying, and I should go.

I can't see how I am going to get any better at blogging again, so I'll probably have to leave you for another month.

Byeee

Yeah, Yeah.....

....I know. I haven't posted in weeks. At least I have a good excuse.

Life is a complete blur at the moment. Samuel is putting on weight like there is no tomorrow (13lbs at only 5 weeks!), GLW is feeding him like a trooper, and I finally had to go back to work (although I did manage a whole 4 1/2 weeks off!)

Mother-in-law came and went, and was actually useful, although there were a few instances of baby tourism - "oooh. He's Crying..AAaaah....Let me take a photo. " "NO. Change his nappy or make me cup of tea, but taking a photo is not an option" Anyway. It all went well, and I am happy to put up with the odd bit of tourism.

I must admit to be a bit narked by my parents though. They have decided to buy a load of toys (not that he is into toys yet) which will be exclusively at their house. Great. Maybe I should follow suit with their Christmas presents. I'll buy my mum a nice jumper, but she is only allowed to wear it at our house. Or maybe buy my dad a metal detector, but chain it into our garden. Hmmmm. Grace Jon, grace.

Sermon didn't go as bad as I feared, but it still wasn't my best - but then again, I can't expect every sermon to be my best yet. It wasn't bad, and was still a lot better than some offerings that the church receives, so, could be worse. Mercifully it hasn't been put on line yet, so I can't share it with you.

I will tell you the end of the GLW story, but not today

TTFN

Jon

Sermon

I am so unconvinced by my own sermon, it really isn't funny.

I think that the problem has come because the word hasn't really 'matured' in my head. It means that I am left with bitty facts with no real direction or purpose.

It has been so hard to concentrate long enough to actually get somewhere, and my prayer life has taken a bit of a tumble, ending up with a bit of a 'help me, I'm drowning' kind of prayer life, which isn't really cutting the mustard.

So I am ending up trying to pad it out, to make it into a bit more of a structured message, but I think it is just getting waffly. My last sermon was 45 minutes and had a word count of 6000 ish, and I am currently on 400o with this one.

Well, at least it will be short. We can all go home early and not prolong the agony.

J